Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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