you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
