we have pet lesbian snakes
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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