super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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