I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
