So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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