Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
