he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
