I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
