The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
