I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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