Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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