I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
