one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
