No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
