Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize