please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
