so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
