i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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