you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
