so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
