Im at strip club and am horny
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
