...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
