Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Randomize
