i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
