Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
