New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
