This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
