Buhtt sex?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
