You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
