NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
