too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
