She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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