Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
