You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
