with your own penis?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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