It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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