I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
