Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize