Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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