Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
