I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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