I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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