I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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