Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
