I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
