so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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