i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize