I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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