Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
