There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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