Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
