The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
