I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
