guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
