Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
