You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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