Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
