good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
