I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize